Naked Bravery

I hate being caught in transitional phases.  Now I’m sitting on the edge of a precipice again. Time to start thinking about grad school and shoring up my self-worth for rejection letters, and shoring up hope that an offer will come in. The worst part is that the process starts this July and I won’t know anything till next spring. I’m smart, that’s not the problem, it’s all the stupid steps between here and there. And then making the transition from tiny pond to something new. Making decision about what degree to get, and hoping I choose wisely. The worst part is going through this without being able to lean on you for support. You always were my biggest cheerleader, you always made my fears melt away, but I guess it’s more than time to stand on my own two feet and make some damned decisions about my life. I chose to set you free, why can’t I offer myself the same freedom?

You’ve left your fingerprints all over everything that was solely mine before you came. Now I can’t attend the yearly festival without remembering what it was like to walk it with you, or how you picked out the perfect pair of earrings for me, or shared a lemonade. All my favorite things are smudged with the impression of you. Haunting me.